Need more of me? Click on the Tweeter or InstaG so you can follow me on the daily :)Follow @CaslinRose
Butterflies, Butterflies, Butterflies!
I'm positive there were butterflies in my stomach all last week. Luckily for me, they're gone now. But, truth be told, a lot of it was all in my head.
I was lucky enough to film a couple reels with some friends last week. This was something that has been on my to do list for a while now, and I finally had the opportunity to make that happen. You know me and my check lists, can you imagine the amount of gratification I felt as I was crossing these off the list? Yeah, awesome.
First shoot was with Darwheezy himself, and the other was with some friends over at Relentless Filmworks. For the second shoot, I had a little over a week to get everything prepared- learn my lines, put wardrobe together, chill out, etc. This was more than enough time, maybe too much. As each day passed and it became closer to the shoot date, the more nervous I got.
"What if I suck?"
"Maybe I should have started working out sooner?"
"What if the other actor outshines me in my own scene?"
"What if I've been given all this time, and STILL can't remember my lines?"
Oh, zetus lapetus! (ha, who remembers that one?) no wonder why there were butterflies procreating in my stomach. I was worrying wayyyyy too much. I actually worried so much I ended up with some lovely stomach cramps for a few days prior to filming. My level of confidence was all over the place. Yes, I've been acting in a ton of my own projects, but it has been a really long time since I have had the opportunity to work with other professionals and just to be honest, the lack of opportunities I've had lately has made me incredibly insecure in my own abilities. I mean, there has to be a reason why I'm not working, right? Could it actually be because I'm not as good as I thought? I know I'm not a stick figure, but could it be because of my weight? Or my semi ethnic looking facial profile? Blah, there I go again.
Luckily, I'm friends with both Steve and Troy at Relentless Filmworks, and the actor opposite of me (Kevin Ryan Sweeney) coincidently happened to be an old friend of mine, so it was a pretty comfortable set. Whew. Thank you jesus, I needed that.
Regardless of why you're not going out for auditions, most likely for reason out of your control, you CAN NOT TEAR YOURSELF APART. Trust me, I know, this is very easy to do. I will definitely work harder and look into a mirror next time.
So the moral of this story is, calm the F down! Chill the F out! We are all here for one another and ain't nobody's poo don't stank. We are a team and we need each other to grow together. Have confidence and be the best you can be.
Gosh, I'm so lucky. Just wanted to say a quick thanks to everyone who has helped me out!